We live in a “throw away society.  Anything we don’t want anymore, or if it doesn’t make us happy, or suite our purpose we can “throw it away”.  The biggest throw away of all being “marriage”.

 Diabetics have alot to deal with at the best of times.  Not every married couple has the perfet partner, but something brought them together in the first place.  Was it “LOVE”?  If it was shouldn’t it be the strong glue that binds them together no matter what they have to face?  I’m not talking about abusive or chronic infedelity situations, or any kind that is life threatening  to self or family members, I am talking about “what comes with having to both work at a marriage”.  Unfortunately, there is a school of thought out there that suggests if your partner doesn’t give you  the  support you need, why no problem, you can dispose of him  or her.  All I can say to an attitude like that is “how sad” for both.

Whatever happened  to couples being encouraged to sit down and talk about what they feel  is  the problem.  Sometimes it is a case of educating the partner.  Diabetics need to educate themselves and their partners.  It can be fear of the unknown that can be a real negative for the partner.  True some don’t handle new situations very well, so they want to run, hide, or deny that anything is  different, they may even want to strike out and hurt the other partner with strong and hurtful words.  The striking out part can be the hardest for couples, as it usually becomes very emotional and personal  on both sides, with each becoming defensive, opening the door to saying things that in that moment of time can not be taken back.  Soon, barriers  are between them and neither one is willing to be the first to break them down.  In time the wounds fester and keep growing. Then the day comes, one  of them decides “that’s it” and away they go.

Wouldn’t  it be much  easier to “speak kind words” to each other?  Talk openly about the problem.   Look for solutions, not just “what’s best for me.  If the glue that binds two people is indeed “love” then I know this is possible.  Solutions and yes sometimes compromising enters into the picture in order to find those solutions, but through it all there is usually common ground to build on.

As I mentioned earlier education on the subject is vital to both.  It is not just for the person that has been newly diagnosed with diabetes.  If both make it a positive challenge that they participate in together, the stronger their foundation will be.  It takes time and patience, and most of all  the right kind of “love” two people can have for each other.  Believe me that kind of “love” will stand the test of time.  Mine has for 54 years now and still counting. Ours  has had most of what real life is about and at times it has come in pretty big doses, but through it all  can say “love” brought us through it all.